Moving Trucks

Thursday will make the third time in less than two years that moving trucks have come for my things. I'm very lucky that nothing has broken so far and I hope the trend continues!

I had my evaluation at work today. My boss said some nice things about me. It's always nice to hear what you are good at. I'm going to miss working for her.

I'm also going to miss being able to drive to Chattanooga for the weekend. It's been nice being "home" for awhile. You all will have to come and visit me!

Peace

In the last two weeks I have had conflict in almost every major area of my life. I was talking to a friend about this and she said that God often speaks to her in themes. So she asked if there was something that God was trying to teach me through all the conflict. I hadn't thought of it from that perspective. I'm not sure what God wants me to learn, unless it's just simply to trust him more. To learn to live by faith and trust that he is leading me. Perhaps that isn't so simple after all. But certainly a lifelong goal.

From all of this I wrote a song. I can't share the tune through my blog, but here are the words.

Dona Nobis, Dona Nobis Pachem.
Grant us peace Lord, grant us peace Lord, grant us peace Lord, grant us peace.

There was a dream, such a dream
Made not long ago
A dream of peace, a dream of love
For valleys high and low

But we're still fighting, sadly fighting
Against the great unknown
And we cannot learn to listen, and learn to let it go

If I bleed red and so do you
Must we die to find it's true?

Pride and anger, mixed with fear
Causes men to fight
And say we're different, so different
The rich, the black the white

But in Christ there are no nations
There is no slave nor free
But instead we are his children
And today we ask for peace.

Grant us peace Lord.

Every Feeling Revolts

To quote Emma after she discovered that her best friend, Mr. Knightly was possibly marrying another. This was also the same moment she realized that she was in love with him.

Sometimes you just know things. You have a gut feeling either screaming "NO!" at you or strongly moving you forward in a certain direction.

I feel this way about an option I've been offered right now career wise. It just feels wrong. I'm not trying to be close minded or foolish. But yet, my gut feeling rarely misleads me. While it's true sometimes I'm not sure what my gut feeling is or perhaps I want something so badly that I just THINK it's what I "know" there are times when I just don't think I'm wrong about something.

There is a reason God gave us a head and a heart. You need both to make decisions. Many times your heart will tell you what you know is true based on things you have learned in the past or experiences you have had. And while all these things could be logically laid out, often they first present themselves in a feeling, a conviction. From my experience, it's best to listen to this feeling. I think of it as a compass, guiding you to be true to yourself.

Quote of the day

I ran across a quote at Barnes and Noble today that I found very interesting. "A mature relationship doesn't begin until after the disappointment."

I'm not sure how applicable this is to relationships beyond love, but I think in that case especially it's a very insightful statement. In the beginning of a relationship you see only the good qualities that the other person has. You are both on your best behavior. But sooner or later you realize that he or she is human, just like you. If your relationship is shallow or an essential quality is compromised, the disappointment could be the of end things. But often times it is how you recover from the disappointment that makes or breaks your relationship.

Disappointment

Something happened today which I don't feel like going into right now, but let's just say everything I was hoping and planning for career-wise feels turned upside down. By Monday my world could be right side up again, but right now, I just don't know what to do or what will work out. I know God has a plan and I know things will work out. I just hope that I have messed up somewhere. I'm moving back to Orlando in two weeks, and right now my job future is not very certain. I don't know what I will be doing. Please pray for me that the right position will work out and that I will have peace about the direction that I should take.

Perspectives

Today I read in my Organizational Behavior Textbook about perceptions. How different people can look at the same thing and see something entirely different. I feel like that has been happening a lot lately. 2 of my good friends are struggling with a similar issue as me. Their parents feel very strongly that the person they are dating is wrong for them. Some say that perception is reality. And to a degree that is true. But then there is also the real reality. The things that you miss because of your peception.

Often you find what you are looking for. So you must decide if you are really looking for the truth and the reality in a situation or if you only seek ammunition to fuel an opinion already formed.

Just Friends

Tonight we had a Girls Night Out. It was a lot of fun. Heather and Amanda and I had a quick supper at Panera Bread and than watched the movie Just Friends. It is hilarous! It's one of the best comedys I have seen this year. I highly recommend it. Click the link below for more information on the movie.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433400/

After laughing for an hour and a half we went to Starbucks. There was a group of loud teenagers "hanging out" in the store so we decided Barnes and Nobles was more condusive for talking. We had a good conversation and it was nice to all spend time together. :)

Things not to say when meeting a guy

"I'm ready for my reproductive stage."
"We have the whole "Insert job here" thing in common!"
"Like, um, kindof, sortof, like..."

Discovery Channel

I don't often watch documentaries. But I was looking at different Sabbath appropriate channels (Animal Planet, Discovery Channel....) and I came across an interesting show in the building of the pyramids in Eygpt. Maybe all of you history buffs know this already, but I didn't so I'm sharing.

Apparently the first pyramid was built because it was supposed to be a gateway to eternal life for the King. The Eygptions believed that a certain point in the sky that never moved, was Heaven because it was constant even though stars move around it. So they positioned the king so that he was high off the ground. There was a hole cut into the pyramid and I think even the coffin that was exactly the right angle to the point in the sky they believed was Heaven. And they believed that if their king went to Heaven, all of Egypt would be saved also.

Kindof interesting. The documentary ended with this thought.

The Great pyramids were built to answer the most important age-old questions of all time.
What happens to us when we die? And what do we do about it while we are alive?

Interesting....

Brr cold

Today was very cold. It even snowed this morning! I like snow when I have time to enjoy it. It makes everything so pretty. But, I only like it in short bursts. I'm not sure how I would feel living somewhere where it was snowy from Oct-March. I guess you learn to dress for it.

I've been looking at apartments. It's very frustrating. There are so few availabilities. It's very much a sellers market in Orlando right now. But I found one option that I think may work out. It won't be as nice as my first apartment, but I think it should be okay.

Happy Sabbath!

Happy New Year

I hope everyone has had a great break. I had lots of visitors so that was fun. My house feels rather empty now though :(

Kevin came up Thursday. We had a fun day and exchanged Christmas presents that night.
My parents came up to visit on New Years Eve. We walked around Opry Mills and admired the lights. I think it went fairly well for the first outing.
Paul and his girlfriend Alisha came up yesterday. We had a great time at the spaghetti factory!

Today we had coffee with Jackie, a friend in Nashville, and her husband. We have tried several times to get together so I'm glad it worked out today.

Christmas Pictures

Joyeux Noel!

Ever since I was a little girl, I hated for Christmas to be over. There was something sad about having unwrapped all the presents and taken the last picture in front of the Christmas tree. I think that at 24 I'm past crying about it, but I do still feel a little sad.

There is something special about Christmas time. I love the decorations and sparkling things and having nice greetings to say to each other. I love all the yummy food and the excuse to have parties and people over.

I know, I know, it comes quicker every year. But I hope everyone has had a chance to enjoy Christmas this year with your family and/or friends.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Christmas Eve Eve

Yesterday I drove home just in time to join my cousins, Jenny and Jeremy, and Charles in playing Christmas Carols. It had been a little while since I played the violin, so I'm not sure how much beauty I added, but it was fun! I love the sound of stringed instraments together.

Today my mom and I baked things and got ready for the weekend. Tonight I am going to Heather's new house for dinner and a sleepover. It should be fun. I can't remember the last time we've had a real sleepover! I might have had to ask permission..... :)

I hope everyone is having a good time in your respective homes. One thing I appreciate about the holidays as I get older is just the time spent with friends and family. It's nice to have an excuse to get together, bake good food, and enjoy each others company.

A moment of Silence for Tennessee Christian

Today the news was finally announced. Tennessee Christian is being sold to HCA. The transaction should take place on Febuary 1 pending state approval.

So, I guess I have an end date on this rotation. I'm still not sure what my next job will be. But at least I have a time frame for this rotation.

It's a sad moment for Adventist Healthcare. Tennessee Christian is 100 years old and many Adventist have spend time here for various reasons: the nursing school, the school of anesthesia, working at the hospital, living in the community... My grandparents met here many years ago.

However, I think that given the circumstances, it is the best thing for the hospital and the community. It will be an interesting transition from a not-for-profit faith-based hospital to become a for-profit hospital.

For more information visit http://www.ahss.org/newsdisplay.asp?ID=6053

Ironic

Have you ever noticed that often the person that you love the most can also hurt and frustrate you the most? It's like an all access pass to your emotions, inspiring both excited and happy ones as well as deeply saddening and maddening ones. Funny how that works.

Most of you know that I am a big fan of the self-help book. I love reading books like "The Five Love Languages" and taking different personality assessments. It's interesting to me to understand how I am and how other people are that are different from me.

I believe that any marriage/relationship can benefit from reading a good book on the subject of relationships each year; however, I'm coming to the conclusion that it's %^$* hard to really love someone and make things work.

I used to be quite idealistic about love and marriage. And I know I still am to a degree. But just because some one is your "soulmate" doesn't mean you don't want to scream at them once in awhile or that you are always going to connect in a positive way.

I personally think that this sucks. I'm all for good feelings and not fighting and just being happy. But being emotional myself, I know that just doesn't always happen. Sometimes feelings get hurt. Sometimes people overreact. Sometimes we aren't nice to those we love.

How one deals with this is still a bit gray to me. I know there must be a better way then what I sometimes fall into. But I'm also learning that there is no perfect solution nor is there a perfect person. I guess the only thing you can do is keep trying and with God's grace, hopefully improving a bit every day.

One class down!

I just submitted my Marketing plan and now I am finished with my first MBA class! I'm quite excited about the break from homework. Now on to finishing my Christmas shopping :)

Defrosting

Yesterday it was some cold temperature resulting in frost on my car and a general cold all around. Today I'm happy to report that the high was in the 70's and it's not very cold at all :) I do love Florida in the winter time. Granted, a bit of cold is nice so that I can wear my coats and scarfs and such. But I don't need months and months of it. I rather like being able to run around in a sleeveless shirt in Februrary. Yay for Florida sunshine.

Such a great show!

Commander and Chief came on again tonight. It's such an inspiring show. Last week I went to a Leadership Retreat and one of the topics was "level 5" decision making. This is where a leader makes a decision that is difficult, and risky, but is the right decision for the good of society. For example, when the Washington Post published the Pentagon Papers, they didn't know if the Supreme Court would sanction them and cause them to be shut down. They received strong threats from the Nixon administration. But for the love of journalism, the leader made the decision to publish the papers. That's a "level 5" decision.

Mac makes these kinds of decisions in every episode. Today she choose to save a woman who was going to be stoned to death for adultary even though it had dangerous foreign policy implications.

Anyways, it's a good show if anyone has free time on Tuesday evening. :)

Snow village

Tonight I went to JoAnn's Fabrics in search of a wreath. I came a way with the beginning of a Victorian snow village for only $20! I got a cute little house, 4 sets of people, some street lamps and Christmas trees. I've always thought these little villages were cute so I'm rather excited about this addition to my Christmas collection.