About me

Val inspired me with her list of 100 things about Val and Eli so I decided to try a list of 25 about me.

1. I'm from Chattanooga, TN. Yes, I know I don't have the accent.
2. I play the violin and the piano.
   
3. I spent a school year in France. It was an amazing experience, though difficult at times.
4. I'm solar powered.
5. Seattle, Washington is one of the worst places I could imagine moving in the U.S. See number 4.
6. I wish I were perfect.
7. But I'm not.
8. I like English Breakfast tea and Dr. Pepper.
9. I like to snowski and waterski
10. I miss living near good hiking.
11. I used to own a horse.
12. Sometimes people think that Heather and I are twins. I think it must be the hair.
13. I consider myself outdoorsy more than athletic.
14. I miss having Christmas, Spring, Fall, and Summer break.
15. For the most part I like my job.
16. I don't like to wake up before 8:00 in the morning.
17. I wear a lot of blue and pink colors.
18. I once took a night train to Italy by myself. One the way I actually heard people speaking in a weird sounding clicking language.
19. I am an affectionate person with people I care about.
20. I don't like scary movies
21. My Great Grandmother had her Masters degree and worked at Madison Academy in Nashville.
22. I get excited when I find good deals shopping. I feel much better about a purchase if it was a good deal.
23. I have moved 4 times in the last 3 years.
    
24. I like to eat at Mexican restaurants
25. Relationships are important to me.
    

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Here are some of the pictures from this weekend.

Home for Christmas

For various reasons I decided to drive home for Christmas this year. It's a long drive! But happily I was able to break it up a little by driving to Valdasta last night and then the rest of the way today. Which was a really good thing because the weather today was horrible. I passed around 6 accidents on the way home! It was rainy and nasty and there was a lot of traffic on certain parts of the road. I'm very thankful for the angels that were around my car! At least twice I could have been part of the accident count so I'm very glad to be home safe and sound.

Happy Sabbath!

Glad to be going home

Today is my last day in Las Vegas! I'm glad. I've enjoyed some of the things here, but I'm ready to go home. I'm happy to report that I did not finance the building of this city by gambling! Although I did contribute to the entertaintment and food income! I will say that the food here is very good. From plantains to crepes, they really have a lot of options. Speaking of crepes, I LOVE the Paris hotel. That's probably my favorite thing here. They have a mini Effle Tower and cute little shops and streets. AND they make great French food. I walked in the bakery and it actually smelled like France! The tartes were good, the crepes were good..... :) Vive la cuisine francaise!

I Saw the Shuttle Take Off!

It was so cool. A group of us drove out to a park 7 miles from the launch site with a perfect view across the lake. The shuttle took off at exactly 8:47 and it was really cool. It was like a bright light going up the sky. It made a wide light path across the lake. The boom didn't come until the shuttle was almost out of sight! I'm really glad we were able to see it!

Friday Evening

So, tonight being the relaxing Friday night that it is, I decided to take a bath. I had the salts and the music and the candles. It was all very nice. However, Bisous decided to get closer to the action and climbed up to where my vanilla candle jar was and practially sat on it! Not good. I saw smoke. I quickly pulled it away and dabbed some water on my cat, which she loved, and no harm was done. Note to self. Keep Bisous away from candles!

Fun in the Hay

Today our social committee at Deeper planned an outing to the Corn Maize in Zellwood. (On a side note Val and I got some of the corn there and it's REALLY good!!) But we also wondered around in the fields for a good hour and a half learning about history and enjoying being outside. Here are some pictures.


And the answer to clue number 5 is...Davy Crockett! Great. Now how does that get us out of the maize?!
Shawn got a little scared, being lost and all, and started waiving the "help us" flag. ;) Okay fine, it was just for the picture.

Quote

Nikki brought the following quote to our staff meeting this morning and I thought I would share it.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson

Lessons from Narnia

I read "The Last Battle" a while ago and a section from the book has been coming to mind recently. I thought I would share the text and let you come to your own conclusions about the message.

This is near the end of the book when one of the characters discovered that he had been worshiping the wrong god all of his life. Here is his encounter with Aslan.

"So I went over much grass and many flowers and among all kinds of wholesome and delectable trees till lo! in a narrow place between two rocks there came to meet me a great Lion. The speed of him was like the ostrich, and his size was an elephant's; his hair was like pure gold and the brightness of his eyes like gold that is liquid in the furnace. He was more terrible than the Flaming Mountain of Lagour, and in beauty he surpassed all that is in the world even as the rose in bloom surpasses the dust of the desert. Then I fell at his feet and thought, Surely this is the hour of death for the Lion (who is worthy of all honor) will know that I have served Tash all my days and not him. Nevertheless, it is better to see the Lion and die than to be Tisroe of the world and live and not to have seen him. But the Glorious One bent down his golden head and touched my forehead with his tongue and said "Son, thou art welcome. But I said, Alas, Lord, I am no son of thine but the servant of Tash. He answered, Child, all the service thou has done to Tash, I account as service done to me.

Then by reasons of my great desire for wisdom and understanding, I overcame my fear and questioned the Glorious One and said, Lord, is it then true, as the Ape said, that thou and Tash are one? The Lion growled so that the earth shook (but his wrath was not against me) and said, It is false. Not because he and I are one, but because we are opposites, I take to me the services which thou has done to him. For I and he are of such different kinds that no service which is vile can be done to me, and none which is not vile can be done to him. Therefore if any man swear by Tash and keep his oath for the oath’s sake, it is by me that he has truly sworn, though he know it not, and it is I who reward him. And if any man do a cruelty in my name, then, though he say the name Aslan, it is Tash whom he serves and by Tash his deed is accepted. Dost thou understand, Child? I said, Lord, thou knowest how much I understand. But I said also (for the truth constrained me), Yet I have been seeking Tash all my days. Beloved, said the Glorious One, unless thy desire had been for me thou wouldst not have sought so long and so truly. For all find what they truly seek."

Pet Peeve

So I've discovered that one of the things that really makes me angry is men who obsess over their weight, or even worse, MY weight (or any other female.) Don't get me wrong here. I think it's very important to be healthy and to eat good foods and stay active. However, there is a line. And it's a line that people really shouldn't be crossing when they don't know you all that well. Someone I know said outloud today that he thinks his wife should lose weight. And he tells her this. Now, I'm all for open communication. And sometimes the people you love do have to tell you when you are doing unhealthy things. But still, tact is important. Noone should feel like less of a person or unattractive just because they don't meet society's image of what a woman or a man for that matter should look like. Again, it's important to be healthy. But it's also important to be loving and to treat each other with respect. And commenting on someone's weight and what they should and shouldn't eat is more often than not, very hurtful. If I want to make popcorn with lots of butter, let me. If my friend wants to have an afternoon snack of ice cream, let her. Unless you are genuinely speaking out of concern for a very close friend or loved one, another person's eating habits is none of your business. Okay, getting of my soapbox now...

Weekend activities

Heather and I went to Hilton Head this weekend. It was lots of fun. :)

Hanging out at the aiport

So, the bad news is that my flight is delayed and I'm stuck at the airport. The good news is that I'm connecting to a signal somewhere and I can get online! Apparently there is some kind of bad weather in Baltimore right now, and we have to go through there to get to New York. From which we will drive to Vermont. I think I'm going to be getting to bed late tonight...

Anyways. I'm excited about seeing the tree colors in Vermont. I hope we are able to do some hiking on Sabbath. I love the sunshine in Florida, but I do miss hiking in the mountains. Hopefully I'll get to do a little of that this weekend!

Walking along

Today was a blah day. Work was boring and seemed to take too long. And then I finally moved the rest of my things out of the apartment. That was tiring and my back hurts. But I'm glad it is done. Also, sometimes I really confuse myself. There is something I have really believed in for a long time now that I just don't understand. It really doesn't make sense right now. I can't seem to shut the door, but every time I try to walk through it, I end up outside again. I don't know why it's so complicated. But I guess that's where faith comes in. If life had only open and closed doors, we wouldn't have to rely on God to lead us. We would easily know where to go. I just hope that I'm doing everything I can to truly hear his leading.

Congratulations Nikki and Mike

We had a very nice shower for my friend Nikki today at an adorable tea place. She's geting married in less than two weeks. Congratulations you guys! :)

What happens when Val and I leave for work...

What should we do today Bisous?













The same thing we do every day Oreo!

Watch some TV. Catch up on Grey's Anatomy. Make some popcorn. Check myspace.
And make sure to look nice and innocent by the time our mom's get home!

Thoughts

Recently I've been thinking about what it means to say that I am a Christian. I was raised knowing why I believed that Sabbath was the day God blessed and that the dead in Christ will rise when He comes again, ect. And while I still believe these things, lately I've been feeling more conviction of the things that I hold in common with many other Christians. Being a Christian means that you are a follower of Christ. That you have accepted Him as your Savior and seek Him in your life. And you want to spend forever with Him in Heaven. And while I think it is important to seek truth and read the Bible, I think it is so much more important to seek Jesus. One of my closest spiritual friends is not an Adventist. But I know she loves God so much and is truly a follower of Him. And because of that, I don't feel the need to tell her about the verses I know about that show the differences in our religion. If she asks, I'm happy to. But I trust that God will convict her of what He sees fit. And for us, we have so many great spiritual discissions about God and how He leads in our lives, that it usually doesn't feel necessary to talk about the things we see differently.

Anyways. I don't want to come across like I'm doubting our beliefs or anything. I believe in our message. But I do think it is important to focus on the big picture more than the little things. And how I see it, the big picture is all about Him.

Sick Day

So today I stayed home sick. Which was rather frustrating seeing as I have no sick days! But I felt terrible all night, and when I got up to take a shower I got really tired and started having cold chills. So, I figured if a shower wears me out, I have no business going to work!

I pretty much slept on and off all afternoon. I feel a little better now so hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to go to work and eat some food. I'm running on saltine crackers and Powerade!

So, you want to work with people...

Bill Cosby spoke at a convention I attended a year or so ago. He made us all laugh with his comments on HR. One in particular stands out right now. He said, 'So you decided when you were in college that you wanted to work with people. Then you graduated and MET the people...."

Today I feel like I 'met the people.' I like my job. I really do. But today was a really grumpy day. I won't go into detail, but let's just say I ever so briefly considered a job that was NOT working with people. Long-term, I would hate that. But today, it would have been nice.

Pride

Last night I watched the movie "Save the Last Dance." There is an interesting scene towards the end where one of the main characters is trying to convince his friend not to do something stupid. The friend responds by saying, look I don't have med school waiting for me. All I have is my dignity. And that's what I have to protect.

Okay so that's part one. Part two:
I ended up reading parts of Jonah as my devotional. It struck me that pride was also what he was struggling with. He had told the town that they would all die, and now, thanks to God's mercy and their repentance, they were going to live. He felt like he looked stupid. And because of it he just wanted to sit out in the heat and die.

It's funny how our pride affects us. It can cause us to do stupid things, or to be upset about really good things.

I think pride is one of the most difficult things to overcome. It forces us to admit weakness and be vunerable. But think how much frustration and trouble could be avoided if more people where strong enough to be humble.

Everywhere I go, there I am

Today was one of those days. Where everything just felt overwhelming and confusing. Sometimes I can see the "future" clearly and I feel confident and sure of myself and my steps . I know what I should do next. But sometimes I get tired and things start to look blurry. It's those times when it's helpful to have another person to remind me that things will be okay. You know, many times I can be that strong person who steps in and helps other people figure out the direction they should take. But there are times when I need someone to do that for me. I think everyone needs that.

Anyways. I think I've done enough thinking/packing/tv watching for today so I'm headed to bed. Night.

Forgiveness

So, here's my question. Is it possible to forgive someone who does not ask for it? I'm not talking about holding a grudge or being bitter as the alternative; clearly its important to be able to let go of things and move on. But if someone is never sorry, can they really be forgiven?

I've thought a bit about this topic since I heard a sermon on it at church. It was recently brought to mind again by an acquaintence of mine. This person lost their temper with me and was rather offensive to me a week or so ago. We used to be somewhat friends, the kind that talk and have lunch. But since this happenened, things are not the same with us. I'm not rude to him or anything. I'm over it. I just no longer have the desire to inititate conversation. I feel pretty sure that if an apology was made, I'd feel much more free to act as friends again. But since nothing of the kind has occured, I just don't feel the desire to go beyond casual conversation. Does this mean I have not forgiven him? Or is my reaction just the natural result of "broken trust."

Any thoughts?

Vacation

So I really need to go on a vacation. A real vacation. My last attempt at a vacation included getting stuck in Cancun during a hurricane for a week. Not really wanting to do that one again. But that was still a year ago! I do travel a lot for work and I've gone home quite a few times so it's not like I've been stuck in one place for a year. But I'm really feeling like taking a trip somewhere fun for a long weekend. Hopefully that will work out soon!

I have an odd cat

Some of you are already agreeing. Bisous is a special one. For instance, she doesn't really do well with dairy products. I learned this one the hard way. However, she LOVES carbs. She gets very happy when I feed her things like crackers or crusts, or chips. I don't give her too much people food, but I'll treat her every know and then. She also likes hummus. I haven't figured that one out yet. Maybe she has a salty tooth. Well, she's adorable anyways!

Happy Fourth Of July!

Here are some pictures from our cookout at Valeries house. We had a great time and the food was wonderful! I was rather proud of my flag dessert. :)
I am also glad to be alive after almost being a victim of the fireworks not once but twice. My favorite near death experience had to be Eli somehow throwing the bottle rocket in my direction. Luckily I have fast enough reflexes so that I was able to drop to the grass without any damage. Who let Eli have a bottle rocket anyways?! Happy Fourth of July!

In case you are ever bitten by a snake...

I learned something new yesterday. I went to a Vespers program hosted by a nature guy who has done things like catch aligators and study bears for 7 years. He said that if you are ever bitten by a land snake, the best thing to do is to shock the area that was bitten. It does something with changing the communication or structure of something in your arm, and it heals it much better and faster then the anti-venum that the hospital gives out. He said that the anti-venum kills as many people as the snake bite does. He actually owns a stun gun for the very purpose of shocking himself when he gets bitten by bees, snakes, and whatever else.
Now, I have to intentions of testing out this little theory, however it's a good little bit of information to store away just in case!

Counting your blessings

I talked with a friend of mine today who recently got fired for not working on the Sabbath. She was hired on with a schedule of working part time Mon-Thurs and did this for 5 weeks. Then suddenly her manager decided that she should work on Sabbath, even though she said she could not from the beginning. I'm surprised when I hear things like this. After all, employers aren't supposed to discrimate against religious beliefs. They are supposed to make reasonable accommodations. But I guess it doesn't always happen that way. It made me realize how blessed I am to work for an organization that encourages my Sabbath rest. Thank-you Florida Hospital!

Hurricane season

On the main page of weather.com today it annonced that there were no tropical threats. And went on to say" Tropical cyclone formation is not anticipated over the next day or two in either the Atlantic or eastern Pacific."

Does anybody else worry about the fact that it is worthy to note that there are NO hurricanes headed our way? I know that a hurricane makes the news. But now the lack of a hurricane is making the news....

Kristin's Wedding

Off to Texas

I'm headed to Texas for the weekend! And yes, I do travel a lot. I know that's what you are thinking right now!

Anyways. Kristin is walking down the the asile this weekend and a bunch of us are headed out to a) walk with her, or b) attend the wedding/take pictures of it! I haven't spent a lot of time in Texas, so hopefully it will be a fun trip. I'll try to post some pics when I get back :)

Have a good weekend everyone!

Sabbath afternooon

So this afternoon I decided to lie down for a little nap. I wasn't sure I was going to ever actually fall asleep because I also read a little and then two of my friends called. But I must have because I had a dream. I don't remember a whole lot except that I was hanging out with some friends at Val's house. And Val, I must subconciously think that you have a really nice house because in my dream we lived on a lake with nice picnic tables outside! But, the odd thing was as I was walking up to the door I thought to myself, I'm not really doing this. I'm not really walking. I'm actually asleep. And the dreamy Kristen was surprised by this. But sure enough I woke up and found myself groggy and in my bed. So, I'm making coffee!

My work group

Eternal LIfe

So I watched the Alias finale last night. Overall it was rather disappointing. The only thing I really liked about the show was the ending with Sydney and Vaughn on the beach. However, I thought it was interesting that one of the culmination of the of the major plot lines of the last 5 years was Sloane's (bad guy) quest for eternal life. He spent his whole life, millions of dollars, and countless lives solving a puzzle that in the end made him immortal. Unfortunately for him (good for the rest of the world) he got to spend eternity under a pile of concrete all alone. But it got me thinking, it's amazing what people will do, and have done in real history, in hopes of enternal life. And even more amazing to think that eternal life can be ours if we want it, we just have to accept the gift.

Zodiac Signs

So my co-workers and I got into an interesting conversation one the way back from lunch today. Keep in mind that most of them are Christians. They started talking about people's signs (Like Leo, Picses) and saying that they thought there was some truth to the characteristics. Like there is some evidence that the tide pool and the first impression you get of the world around you when you are born, affects your personality. I have always thought that it was a bunch of crap. I think birth order, environment, choices, genes, and experiences can shape your personality. But the month you were born in? Seriously?

Does anyone have an opinion on this? Is there any scientific proof that people born in the same month do in fact share some common characteristics?

Congratulations Amanda!

Believe

It's easy to praise you
When all the blessings flow
It's easy to trust you
When I feel in control

But in valleys and in darkness
I seem to lose my way
I stumble and I falter
And I don't know what to pray

Lord I believe, but I think I'm falling
And I'm not sure I can see
Lord I believe, but I feel I'm losing
Lord I believe, please help my unbelief

I know that you have plans for me
And I know that they are good
And if I could erase my fears
Lord, you know I would

But tonight it seems I'm failing
And giving into rain
So Father please restore me
And grant me peace again

Lord I believe, but the way is cloudy
And I'm not sure I can see
So please guide these faltering footsteps
And help me to believe

Charlotte

I'm currently in Charlotte, NC for an Occupational Therapy Career Fair. It seems to be a nice city, although quite a bit cooler than Orlando!
I had some free time this afternoon so I went to the mall. I thought this mall was just a few minutes away, and by car, it probably would have been. But being that I did not have a car, I too the bus. And apparently the wrong bus because it took me almost 45 minutes to get there! On the way I was mildly amused by the bus driver and her very loud friend. They talked the entire time and actually called people "baby" and "sugar."
Luckily I had a shorter trip back. It was a nice mall though. I found some good sales and made one especially exciting purchase :)

Okay, I'm off to the event. I made a gift basket with Florida stuff: sun tan lotien, key lime pie cheese sticks, sunflowers, and brightly colored innertubes in a nice blue bowl.

Firsts

I ran across this poem at the store today. Personally, it sounds to me like the author had a lot of fear going on, but it's kindof an interesting poem so I thought I'd share it. Plus, I really need an updated posting! :)


When I first saw you,
I was afraid to talk to you.
When I first talked to you,
I was afraid to like you.
When I first liked you,
I was afraid to love you.
Now that I love you,
I'm afraid to lose you.

Sneaky Bisous

So tonight I decided to take a picture of Bisous for my new phone. I looked for her and couldn't find her anywhere in my apartment. I called her and brought out treats. Nothing. So then I got a little worried. I started looking around outside. I wondered around and finally walked through the crosswalk to the other side of my apartment building. There she was sitting on the top of the stairs in front of someone elses apartment. I can't believe she actually got out without me seeing her. I'm so glad I found her and she was okay!

Pictures from my birthday

Poor Bisous

Today Bisous got a bath. She was not very happy about this, but it needed to be done. She's so cute when she's all soaking wet and little. Because she has so much hair, it takes her awhile to dry off. I usually help her out a bit with the blow dryer. Yeah, she just LOVES that! Today I discovered that instead of trying to hold her still and dry her, I could just stand up and point the dryer at her and let her walk around and just follow her with it. (With the bathroom door closed of course.) I was very amused by this. I don't think that she was.

Better not to know

I watched a re-run of Greys Anatomy tonight. It has to be one of the saddest episodes ever. For those of you who watch it, it was the train wreck episode where two patients are stuck on a phone together and the surgeons have to decide who gets to live and who gets to die. I know people make decisions based on the best information possible, but I wonder if I could make a call like that, knowing I was sending a person to her death. Doctors have a bad reputation these days for being arrogant, but I have to say, it takes a confident person to be able to make the split second decisions that they make. Having a humble heart is important for all of us, but having a decisive and confident attitiude can be a very good thing as well.

Anyways. I thought the ending quote was interesting. Meredith said that as surgeons, they like to know everything, but as people, sometimes it's better not to know. Because though there is fear in the darkness, there is also hope. I thought that was an interesting perspective.

Seriously??

So this morning I woke up at 9:00 in the morning to shouts of screaming parents. I have a baseball field behind my house and apparently there was a game going on. Okay. I used to play baseball. In the summer, at like 7:00 at night. Who gets up early on Saturday morning to play baseball? I'm amazed at these people. Get some sleep. Play sports after normal people wake up on the weekends.

Okay. I'm done. Happy Sabbath everyone.

I know.

So, it's been a little while since I posted. The funny thing is that at least two of my other blogging friends have said the same thing in recent postings. No, I'm not giving up on my blog. I'm just busy and also on myspace!

This week has FLOWN by. I can't believe it is already almost Friday. But, no complaints. I'll happily take a weekend.

I saw the movie Walk the Line last night. It was very interesting. I find it unfortunate that the producer decided to spend 99% of the movie focusing on the difficult part of his life, and gave relatively little information about the 35 happy years after he and June finally got married. But it was interesting to know the story behind the songs.

Strength

Throughout my life, especially when going through a difficult situation, people have told me that I am a strong person. I always took that as a compliment and said thanks or whatever.

But today I started thinking about what people mean by that. I mean, yes, I have successfully made it through another day without giving in to crazy thoughts of jumping off a bridge or deciding that maybe I really DO want to get drunk. But does that make me strong? Everyone you see breathing around you has also made at least the first decision. If you are going to live, do you really have a choice, but to be strong?

Any thoughts?

Paul, you'd better listen. He's a smart man!

For those of you who don't want to be subtle

My friend showed this to me. It cracks me up. For the girls who don't like to hint around....

Related

So, I have a new show I watch thanks to Valerie's tivo. I must admit that it is highly addicting to be able to fast forward commercials and record shows to watch whenever you want!

Anyways. The show is called Related and it's about four sisters. It's really funny and also serious at times. The best thing about the show is their relationship and how they are always there for each other. It makes me wish I had a sister. But, I will say, though I don't have a sister, I have great friends and cousins that have filled the role in many ways.

Casting Crowns

I went to the Casting Crowns concert last night.

It was really good.  There were several songs
that had very good lyrics.  Here is one of them.



Is there anyone that fails

Is there anyone that falls

Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around

Everybody seems so strong

I know they’ll soon discover

That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay

If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too

So with a painted grin, I play the heart again

So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people

Under shiny plastic steeples

With walls around our weakness

And smiles to hide our pain

But if the invitation’s open

To every heart that has been broken

Maybe then we close the curtain

On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there

Are there any hands to raise

Am I the only one who’s traded

In the altar for a stage 

The performance is convincing

And we know every line by heart

Only when no one is watching

Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free

If I dared to let you see

The truth behind the person

That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open

Or would you walk away

Would the love of Jesus

Be enough to make you stay

Band aid Burn

So this morning I took off the band aid where I had gotten my blood drawn yesterday. I was shocked to see a raised area that was blue and purple. It looked like I had been bit or something. Apparently I had a reaction to the band aid. Odd. Anyone ever had that before?!

Recruitment Strategist

Today I accepted a new job position. It is a Recruitment Strategist for Florida Hospital. I will be working with one of my good friends and working close to my apartment.

Broken

Today is a sad day. Many things that I had been hoping for and excited about for a long time came crashing down. I know God is still in control and it's a good thing, because I'm not, but I just don't understand His timing sometimes. There are so many things that I don't understand. It frustrates me and I am disappointed and sad.

Not what I expected

So, I'm in Orlando now. And I have to say, it's not what I pictured in my mind. I feel a bit lost. I'm glad to be here and all. But things have changed since I left. Maybe I've changed some. I don't really know. Everything is stressful right now. I feel like people have all of these expectations of me. And I'm so tired. It's hard for me to feel like I measure up right now. I guess everyone goes through phases like this. I'll probably feel better once I get my job straightened out and my apartment more lived in.

75 degrees and sunny

Today is a lovely day. As mentioned in my title the weather is perfect. I heard Chattanooga got snow this morning. :)

My dad and I drove down on Saturday. It was a pretty good drive. Bisous did well but I think she was glad to get out of the car.

Last night I watched the Superbowl. I didn't really care for either team, but since my dad and Kevin voiced strong opinions against the Steelers, I decided to root for Seattle. Unfortunately things did not go well for them. The commercials were disappointing. I think one year the Superbowl had great commercials, which gave girls something fu to say about the game. "Yeah, I don't watch it for the game, I watch it for the commercials." But maybe that was just a one time thing. Because this year, they were kindof dumb, and I don't remember last year being that great either.

Overall it was fun though. We watched the game under little heaters outside on a projection screen by the pool. If you're going to watch the game, that's a good way to do it.

Anyways. My stuff comes tomorrow so hopefully everything will arrive in tact.

Kenny's Wedding Pictures

My friend Kenny Willes got married last month. His website has a great slideshow of the pictures for anyone who is interested.

http://www.kenandallison.com/

Moving Trucks

Thursday will make the third time in less than two years that moving trucks have come for my things. I'm very lucky that nothing has broken so far and I hope the trend continues!

I had my evaluation at work today. My boss said some nice things about me. It's always nice to hear what you are good at. I'm going to miss working for her.

I'm also going to miss being able to drive to Chattanooga for the weekend. It's been nice being "home" for awhile. You all will have to come and visit me!

Peace

In the last two weeks I have had conflict in almost every major area of my life. I was talking to a friend about this and she said that God often speaks to her in themes. So she asked if there was something that God was trying to teach me through all the conflict. I hadn't thought of it from that perspective. I'm not sure what God wants me to learn, unless it's just simply to trust him more. To learn to live by faith and trust that he is leading me. Perhaps that isn't so simple after all. But certainly a lifelong goal.

From all of this I wrote a song. I can't share the tune through my blog, but here are the words.

Dona Nobis, Dona Nobis Pachem.
Grant us peace Lord, grant us peace Lord, grant us peace Lord, grant us peace.

There was a dream, such a dream
Made not long ago
A dream of peace, a dream of love
For valleys high and low

But we're still fighting, sadly fighting
Against the great unknown
And we cannot learn to listen, and learn to let it go

If I bleed red and so do you
Must we die to find it's true?

Pride and anger, mixed with fear
Causes men to fight
And say we're different, so different
The rich, the black the white

But in Christ there are no nations
There is no slave nor free
But instead we are his children
And today we ask for peace.

Grant us peace Lord.

Every Feeling Revolts

To quote Emma after she discovered that her best friend, Mr. Knightly was possibly marrying another. This was also the same moment she realized that she was in love with him.

Sometimes you just know things. You have a gut feeling either screaming "NO!" at you or strongly moving you forward in a certain direction.

I feel this way about an option I've been offered right now career wise. It just feels wrong. I'm not trying to be close minded or foolish. But yet, my gut feeling rarely misleads me. While it's true sometimes I'm not sure what my gut feeling is or perhaps I want something so badly that I just THINK it's what I "know" there are times when I just don't think I'm wrong about something.

There is a reason God gave us a head and a heart. You need both to make decisions. Many times your heart will tell you what you know is true based on things you have learned in the past or experiences you have had. And while all these things could be logically laid out, often they first present themselves in a feeling, a conviction. From my experience, it's best to listen to this feeling. I think of it as a compass, guiding you to be true to yourself.

Quote of the day

I ran across a quote at Barnes and Noble today that I found very interesting. "A mature relationship doesn't begin until after the disappointment."

I'm not sure how applicable this is to relationships beyond love, but I think in that case especially it's a very insightful statement. In the beginning of a relationship you see only the good qualities that the other person has. You are both on your best behavior. But sooner or later you realize that he or she is human, just like you. If your relationship is shallow or an essential quality is compromised, the disappointment could be the of end things. But often times it is how you recover from the disappointment that makes or breaks your relationship.

Disappointment

Something happened today which I don't feel like going into right now, but let's just say everything I was hoping and planning for career-wise feels turned upside down. By Monday my world could be right side up again, but right now, I just don't know what to do or what will work out. I know God has a plan and I know things will work out. I just hope that I have messed up somewhere. I'm moving back to Orlando in two weeks, and right now my job future is not very certain. I don't know what I will be doing. Please pray for me that the right position will work out and that I will have peace about the direction that I should take.

Perspectives

Today I read in my Organizational Behavior Textbook about perceptions. How different people can look at the same thing and see something entirely different. I feel like that has been happening a lot lately. 2 of my good friends are struggling with a similar issue as me. Their parents feel very strongly that the person they are dating is wrong for them. Some say that perception is reality. And to a degree that is true. But then there is also the real reality. The things that you miss because of your peception.

Often you find what you are looking for. So you must decide if you are really looking for the truth and the reality in a situation or if you only seek ammunition to fuel an opinion already formed.

Just Friends

Tonight we had a Girls Night Out. It was a lot of fun. Heather and Amanda and I had a quick supper at Panera Bread and than watched the movie Just Friends. It is hilarous! It's one of the best comedys I have seen this year. I highly recommend it. Click the link below for more information on the movie.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433400/

After laughing for an hour and a half we went to Starbucks. There was a group of loud teenagers "hanging out" in the store so we decided Barnes and Nobles was more condusive for talking. We had a good conversation and it was nice to all spend time together. :)

Things not to say when meeting a guy

"I'm ready for my reproductive stage."
"We have the whole "Insert job here" thing in common!"
"Like, um, kindof, sortof, like..."

Discovery Channel

I don't often watch documentaries. But I was looking at different Sabbath appropriate channels (Animal Planet, Discovery Channel....) and I came across an interesting show in the building of the pyramids in Eygpt. Maybe all of you history buffs know this already, but I didn't so I'm sharing.

Apparently the first pyramid was built because it was supposed to be a gateway to eternal life for the King. The Eygptions believed that a certain point in the sky that never moved, was Heaven because it was constant even though stars move around it. So they positioned the king so that he was high off the ground. There was a hole cut into the pyramid and I think even the coffin that was exactly the right angle to the point in the sky they believed was Heaven. And they believed that if their king went to Heaven, all of Egypt would be saved also.

Kindof interesting. The documentary ended with this thought.

The Great pyramids were built to answer the most important age-old questions of all time.
What happens to us when we die? And what do we do about it while we are alive?

Interesting....

Brr cold

Today was very cold. It even snowed this morning! I like snow when I have time to enjoy it. It makes everything so pretty. But, I only like it in short bursts. I'm not sure how I would feel living somewhere where it was snowy from Oct-March. I guess you learn to dress for it.

I've been looking at apartments. It's very frustrating. There are so few availabilities. It's very much a sellers market in Orlando right now. But I found one option that I think may work out. It won't be as nice as my first apartment, but I think it should be okay.

Happy Sabbath!

Happy New Year

I hope everyone has had a great break. I had lots of visitors so that was fun. My house feels rather empty now though :(

Kevin came up Thursday. We had a fun day and exchanged Christmas presents that night.
My parents came up to visit on New Years Eve. We walked around Opry Mills and admired the lights. I think it went fairly well for the first outing.
Paul and his girlfriend Alisha came up yesterday. We had a great time at the spaghetti factory!

Today we had coffee with Jackie, a friend in Nashville, and her husband. We have tried several times to get together so I'm glad it worked out today.