Poor Bisous

Today Bisous got a bath. She was not very happy about this, but it needed to be done. She's so cute when she's all soaking wet and little. Because she has so much hair, it takes her awhile to dry off. I usually help her out a bit with the blow dryer. Yeah, she just LOVES that! Today I discovered that instead of trying to hold her still and dry her, I could just stand up and point the dryer at her and let her walk around and just follow her with it. (With the bathroom door closed of course.) I was very amused by this. I don't think that she was.

Better not to know

I watched a re-run of Greys Anatomy tonight. It has to be one of the saddest episodes ever. For those of you who watch it, it was the train wreck episode where two patients are stuck on a phone together and the surgeons have to decide who gets to live and who gets to die. I know people make decisions based on the best information possible, but I wonder if I could make a call like that, knowing I was sending a person to her death. Doctors have a bad reputation these days for being arrogant, but I have to say, it takes a confident person to be able to make the split second decisions that they make. Having a humble heart is important for all of us, but having a decisive and confident attitiude can be a very good thing as well.

Anyways. I thought the ending quote was interesting. Meredith said that as surgeons, they like to know everything, but as people, sometimes it's better not to know. Because though there is fear in the darkness, there is also hope. I thought that was an interesting perspective.

Seriously??

So this morning I woke up at 9:00 in the morning to shouts of screaming parents. I have a baseball field behind my house and apparently there was a game going on. Okay. I used to play baseball. In the summer, at like 7:00 at night. Who gets up early on Saturday morning to play baseball? I'm amazed at these people. Get some sleep. Play sports after normal people wake up on the weekends.

Okay. I'm done. Happy Sabbath everyone.

I know.

So, it's been a little while since I posted. The funny thing is that at least two of my other blogging friends have said the same thing in recent postings. No, I'm not giving up on my blog. I'm just busy and also on myspace!

This week has FLOWN by. I can't believe it is already almost Friday. But, no complaints. I'll happily take a weekend.

I saw the movie Walk the Line last night. It was very interesting. I find it unfortunate that the producer decided to spend 99% of the movie focusing on the difficult part of his life, and gave relatively little information about the 35 happy years after he and June finally got married. But it was interesting to know the story behind the songs.

Strength

Throughout my life, especially when going through a difficult situation, people have told me that I am a strong person. I always took that as a compliment and said thanks or whatever.

But today I started thinking about what people mean by that. I mean, yes, I have successfully made it through another day without giving in to crazy thoughts of jumping off a bridge or deciding that maybe I really DO want to get drunk. But does that make me strong? Everyone you see breathing around you has also made at least the first decision. If you are going to live, do you really have a choice, but to be strong?

Any thoughts?

Paul, you'd better listen. He's a smart man!

For those of you who don't want to be subtle

My friend showed this to me. It cracks me up. For the girls who don't like to hint around....

Related

So, I have a new show I watch thanks to Valerie's tivo. I must admit that it is highly addicting to be able to fast forward commercials and record shows to watch whenever you want!

Anyways. The show is called Related and it's about four sisters. It's really funny and also serious at times. The best thing about the show is their relationship and how they are always there for each other. It makes me wish I had a sister. But, I will say, though I don't have a sister, I have great friends and cousins that have filled the role in many ways.

Casting Crowns

I went to the Casting Crowns concert last night.

It was really good.  There were several songs
that had very good lyrics.  Here is one of them.



Is there anyone that fails

Is there anyone that falls

Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around

Everybody seems so strong

I know they’ll soon discover

That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay

If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too

So with a painted grin, I play the heart again

So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people

Under shiny plastic steeples

With walls around our weakness

And smiles to hide our pain

But if the invitation’s open

To every heart that has been broken

Maybe then we close the curtain

On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there

Are there any hands to raise

Am I the only one who’s traded

In the altar for a stage 

The performance is convincing

And we know every line by heart

Only when no one is watching

Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free

If I dared to let you see

The truth behind the person

That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open

Or would you walk away

Would the love of Jesus

Be enough to make you stay

Band aid Burn

So this morning I took off the band aid where I had gotten my blood drawn yesterday. I was shocked to see a raised area that was blue and purple. It looked like I had been bit or something. Apparently I had a reaction to the band aid. Odd. Anyone ever had that before?!

Recruitment Strategist

Today I accepted a new job position. It is a Recruitment Strategist for Florida Hospital. I will be working with one of my good friends and working close to my apartment.

Broken

Today is a sad day. Many things that I had been hoping for and excited about for a long time came crashing down. I know God is still in control and it's a good thing, because I'm not, but I just don't understand His timing sometimes. There are so many things that I don't understand. It frustrates me and I am disappointed and sad.

Not what I expected

So, I'm in Orlando now. And I have to say, it's not what I pictured in my mind. I feel a bit lost. I'm glad to be here and all. But things have changed since I left. Maybe I've changed some. I don't really know. Everything is stressful right now. I feel like people have all of these expectations of me. And I'm so tired. It's hard for me to feel like I measure up right now. I guess everyone goes through phases like this. I'll probably feel better once I get my job straightened out and my apartment more lived in.

75 degrees and sunny

Today is a lovely day. As mentioned in my title the weather is perfect. I heard Chattanooga got snow this morning. :)

My dad and I drove down on Saturday. It was a pretty good drive. Bisous did well but I think she was glad to get out of the car.

Last night I watched the Superbowl. I didn't really care for either team, but since my dad and Kevin voiced strong opinions against the Steelers, I decided to root for Seattle. Unfortunately things did not go well for them. The commercials were disappointing. I think one year the Superbowl had great commercials, which gave girls something fu to say about the game. "Yeah, I don't watch it for the game, I watch it for the commercials." But maybe that was just a one time thing. Because this year, they were kindof dumb, and I don't remember last year being that great either.

Overall it was fun though. We watched the game under little heaters outside on a projection screen by the pool. If you're going to watch the game, that's a good way to do it.

Anyways. My stuff comes tomorrow so hopefully everything will arrive in tact.

Kenny's Wedding Pictures

My friend Kenny Willes got married last month. His website has a great slideshow of the pictures for anyone who is interested.

http://www.kenandallison.com/

Moving Trucks

Thursday will make the third time in less than two years that moving trucks have come for my things. I'm very lucky that nothing has broken so far and I hope the trend continues!

I had my evaluation at work today. My boss said some nice things about me. It's always nice to hear what you are good at. I'm going to miss working for her.

I'm also going to miss being able to drive to Chattanooga for the weekend. It's been nice being "home" for awhile. You all will have to come and visit me!

Peace

In the last two weeks I have had conflict in almost every major area of my life. I was talking to a friend about this and she said that God often speaks to her in themes. So she asked if there was something that God was trying to teach me through all the conflict. I hadn't thought of it from that perspective. I'm not sure what God wants me to learn, unless it's just simply to trust him more. To learn to live by faith and trust that he is leading me. Perhaps that isn't so simple after all. But certainly a lifelong goal.

From all of this I wrote a song. I can't share the tune through my blog, but here are the words.

Dona Nobis, Dona Nobis Pachem.
Grant us peace Lord, grant us peace Lord, grant us peace Lord, grant us peace.

There was a dream, such a dream
Made not long ago
A dream of peace, a dream of love
For valleys high and low

But we're still fighting, sadly fighting
Against the great unknown
And we cannot learn to listen, and learn to let it go

If I bleed red and so do you
Must we die to find it's true?

Pride and anger, mixed with fear
Causes men to fight
And say we're different, so different
The rich, the black the white

But in Christ there are no nations
There is no slave nor free
But instead we are his children
And today we ask for peace.

Grant us peace Lord.

Every Feeling Revolts

To quote Emma after she discovered that her best friend, Mr. Knightly was possibly marrying another. This was also the same moment she realized that she was in love with him.

Sometimes you just know things. You have a gut feeling either screaming "NO!" at you or strongly moving you forward in a certain direction.

I feel this way about an option I've been offered right now career wise. It just feels wrong. I'm not trying to be close minded or foolish. But yet, my gut feeling rarely misleads me. While it's true sometimes I'm not sure what my gut feeling is or perhaps I want something so badly that I just THINK it's what I "know" there are times when I just don't think I'm wrong about something.

There is a reason God gave us a head and a heart. You need both to make decisions. Many times your heart will tell you what you know is true based on things you have learned in the past or experiences you have had. And while all these things could be logically laid out, often they first present themselves in a feeling, a conviction. From my experience, it's best to listen to this feeling. I think of it as a compass, guiding you to be true to yourself.

Quote of the day

I ran across a quote at Barnes and Noble today that I found very interesting. "A mature relationship doesn't begin until after the disappointment."

I'm not sure how applicable this is to relationships beyond love, but I think in that case especially it's a very insightful statement. In the beginning of a relationship you see only the good qualities that the other person has. You are both on your best behavior. But sooner or later you realize that he or she is human, just like you. If your relationship is shallow or an essential quality is compromised, the disappointment could be the of end things. But often times it is how you recover from the disappointment that makes or breaks your relationship.

Disappointment

Something happened today which I don't feel like going into right now, but let's just say everything I was hoping and planning for career-wise feels turned upside down. By Monday my world could be right side up again, but right now, I just don't know what to do or what will work out. I know God has a plan and I know things will work out. I just hope that I have messed up somewhere. I'm moving back to Orlando in two weeks, and right now my job future is not very certain. I don't know what I will be doing. Please pray for me that the right position will work out and that I will have peace about the direction that I should take.