Keep Your Hopes Up
TODAY'S SCRIPTURE
"And you shall be secure and feel confident because there is hope…"(Job 11:18 AMP)
TODAY'S WORD from Joel and Victoria
In the world today, it seems there are so many things trying to pull us down. Every time you turn around, you're being bombarded with bad news. Life can be difficult, but there is a peace that God can give you in the midst of the challenge. If you'll keep your hopes up and keep your mind focused in the right direction, you'll get to the place where you'll say, "I should be upset. I should be losing sleep at night. But I'm not the least bit worried. I know God is still on the throne. I know He's working this out for my good."
When you keep your hopes up, you eventually step into the anointing of ease. You don't drag around discouraged or despondent. You're in faith, hoping, believing, and expecting. That's when God will move on your behalf. That's when you'll look up and say, "You know what? I don't struggle in this area anymore. God took the pressure off. Things are starting to fall into place." You may not be there just yet, but there is hope! God who promised to deliver you is faithful, and He will lead you in victory all the days of your life!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Remember, appreciate, believe.
Isaiah 53
1 Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground.He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken.
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
11 After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors.For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
1 Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground.He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken.
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
11 After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors.For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Wedding Website!
We have a wedding website! There will probably be additional information added so feel free to check back later too :)
http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/KristenMeyer&JoeHarmon
http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/KristenMeyer&JoeHarmon
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The Six Super Foods Every Woman Needs
The Six Super Foods Every Woman Needs
The foods you really need to stay you healthy and strong
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD
From the food pyramid to the Internet to your local bookstore, there is certainly no shortage of advice on nutrition and healthy eating. But with all the media hype surrounding many “health foods,” it can be hard for a woman to tell the nutrients from advertising ploys.
“We are sometimes led to believe that a specific food is healthier than it really is,” says nutritionist Elizabeth Somer, MS, RD, author of Age-proof Your Body. “Or that you need some exotic or expensive form of certain nutrients to gain benefits -- and most of the time that’s not true.”
Moreover -- as happened in the '90s when low fat cookies made everyone temporarily forget about calories -- Somer says some of today’s advertising sways us toward one healthy aspect of a food to keep us from noticing other, less healthy attributes. “A product may advertise itself as ‘no cholesterol’" she says, “but it still can be loaded with bad fats or tons of calories. You have to look at the total food to know for sure.”
NYU nutritionist Tara Miller, MS, RD, agrees. “You have to read the whole label, look at all the ingredients and the portion sizes, before you know for sure just how healthy a food is.”
Or you can let us do the work for you! To help you zero in on the healthiest foods that women can eat, we asked a panel of experts for their advice.
What follows is a description of the six super foods they say every woman needs. While these foods won’t cover all your nutrient bases, incorporating them into your diet as often as possible can help give you a wide range of protection.
Super foods for women: What you need
Super Food # 1: Low-fat yogurt
Goal: 3 to 5 servings a week
What it does: As a health food, yogurt is almost as old as, well, good health itself. But experts say evidence continues to accumulate that reveals its benefits in many new and exciting ways. And not just yogurt. Somer tells WebMD that any fermented dairy product -- including kefir -- contains healthy “probiotics” -- bacteria with the power to protect you in myriad ways.
“There is a suggestion [that yogurt] may decrease the risk of breast cancer,” Somer says. ”And there’s very strong evidence it can reduce problems associated with irritable bowel syndrome and inflammatory digestive tract disorders -- both conditions that impact women more than men.” Additionally, she says, yogurt can help reduce the risk of stomach ulcers and vaginal infections.
Enjoy a cup of yogurt at breakfast, lunch, or snack to help meet the U.S. Dietary Guidelines recommendation for three servings of low fat dairy each day. “It’s loaded with bone-healthy calcium -- something every woman needs more of at every age,” Somer says. One cup of yogurt has about 448 mg of calcium, compared to just 300 for eight ounces of skim milk.
The key, according to Somer, is to choose a low fat yogurt with live cultures -- like Lactobacillus acidophilus. And do check the label, Somer advises. Some store brands may not have the level of cultures found in more established brands.
Also important: Skip the fruit-on-the-bottom or other flavored varieties. “Too much sugar,” says Somer, who also reminds us that, no, those two blueberries on the bottom of the container do not constitute a serving of fruit!
Super Food # 2: Fatty fish -- like salmon, sardines, and mackerel
Goal: 2 to 3 servings every week
What it does: The healthy factor in fish is omega-3 fatty acids, and specifically two types known as DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) and EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid).
“Fatty fish not only plays a vital role in the health of the membrane of every cell in our body, it also helps protect us from a number of key health threats,” says Laurie Tansman, MS, RD, CDN, a nutritionist at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York.
Some of those threats include heart disease, stroke, hypertension, depression, joint pain, and a number of illnesses linked to inflammation, including lupus and rheumatoid arthritis. Somer says fish may even offer some protection against Alzheimer’s disease.
While many foods -- such as walnuts, flaxseed oil, and some mayonnaise brands -- claim the benefits of omega-3 fatty acids, Somer cautions that only the DHA or EPA forms of omega-3 can be directly used by the body.
“What you get in foods like walnuts and flaxseed oil is an omega-3 acid known as ALA -- alpha-linoleic acid,” says Somer. “And while it’s certainly good for you, it requires a process in the body to convert it to DHA. And that conversion process can be influenced by a variety of individual factors.”
The good news: You are likely to see a wheelbarrow full of new products supplemented with DHA slowly making their way to market in the coming year. Currently, Kellogg is reportedly developing a cereal fortified with DHA, while a company called Nutri-Kids has already launched a DHA fortified ready-to-drink milk product. You can also find eggs fortified with DHA and, says Somer, certain brands of soymilk.
Super Food # 3: Beans
Goal: 3 to 4 servings every week
What it does: Low in fat, beans are a good source of protein and fiber and may have protective effects against heart disease and breast cancer. Beans may also play a role in stabilizing female hormones, says nutritionist Susan Krause, MS, RD.
“Beans have been around so long that most people don’t view them as a fancy new health food,” Krause says. “But in fact, they are among one of the healthiest things a woman can eat.”
In studies published in the International Journal of Cancer, researchers found that beans in general, and lentils in particular, may have some protective effects against breast cancer. In research published in the Archives of Internal Medicine, doctors found a relationship between a lower incidence of cardiovascular disease and a higher intake of legumes. Well known legumes include peas, beans, lentils, and peanuts.
As a source of both soluble and insoluble fiber, Krause says, beans can help lower cholesterol, while their level of a nutrient known as isoflavone can help in the regulation of hormones and may aid with PMS, perimenopause, or menopause symptoms. Although soybeans have among the highest levels of isoflavones, other sources include red clover, kudzu, mung beans, alfalfa sprouts, black cohosh, and chickpeas.
“Beans also contain something called protease inhibitors, which may help protect against breast cancer,” says Krause. Protease inhibitors help slow the division of cancer cells and in this way may prevent tumor formation.
Last but not least, if you are in your reproductive years, beans can give you a steady supply of folic acid -- essential if you should become pregnant.
Super Food # 4: Tomatoes (or watermelon, red grapefruit, red navel oranges)
Goal: 3 to 5 servings each week
What it does: The powerhouse nutrient in all these fruits is lycopene. And, according to Miller, while the headlines touted its protective effects against prostate cancer, more quiet research has shown it has tremendous health benefits for women as well.
“Research is starting to show that lycopene may protect against breast cancer,” Miller says. "And it’s also a powerful antioxidant that can help a woman fight heart disease.”
The very latest research shows it may also help keep you looking younger longer by protecting against UV damage from the sun.
Super Food # 5: Vitamin D fortified low fat milk or orange juice
Goal: At least 400 IUs of vitamin D daily
What it does: “Essential to helping the bones absorb calcium from the gut,” says Somer, “vitamin D helps reduce the risk of osteoporosis and may be vital in reducing the risk of diabetes, multiple sclerosis, and tumors of the breast, colon, and ovary.”
Indeed, recent studies from the University of California San Diego suggest that vitamin D has the potential to prevent up to one–half of all breast, colon, and ovarian cancer in the United States.
Somer tells WebMD that a growing body of research indicates many women may be vitamin D deficient. “A combination of staying out of the sun (which the body uses to manufacture vitamin D) and using sunscreen, which blocks the synthesis of vitamin D, has resulted in many women hitting a dangerously low level of this nutrient,” says Somer.
While Vitamin D is found in salmon, mackerel, tuna, and sardines, experts say fortified foods, such as milk, are the best source.
Super Food # 6: Berries (blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, cranberries)
Goal: 3 to 4 servings every week
What It Does: In a way similar to wine, these fruits may protect your body with powerful anti-cancer nutrients known as anthocyans, which are believed to play a role in cell repair. Krause says research shows anthocyans may decrease the risk of several cancers, including those in the breast and gastrointestinal tract.
“These berries,” says Krause, “are also high in vitamin C and folic acid, which is essential for all women in their childbearing years. And they offer powerful anti-oxidant protection, which not only protects the heart but also may protect against skin aging, from the inside out.” Moreover, she tells WebMD that cranberries may help reduce the risk of urinary tract infections in women, while the nutrient, lutein found in all the berries, can help protect vision.
Friday, January 23, 2009
You'll be there
Today I heard a song on the radio that caught my attention. While I may not agree with all the theology...I think it's a beautiful song about someone looking for hope. It reminds me of the words spoken by Thomas "Lord I believe, help my unbelief" Check it out.
You'll be there by George Strait.
http://music.aol.com/song/youll-be-there/6689046
You'll be there by George Strait.
http://music.aol.com/song/youll-be-there/6689046
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Cool Lyrics
One of my friends shared a Christmas song at our Bible Study last night.
The song is called "Cry of a Tiny Babe." I really like the imagry in the chorus.
Like a stone on the surface of a still river
Driving the ripples on forever
Redemption rips through the surface of time
In the cry of a tiny babe
Merry Christmas Week! :)
The song is called "Cry of a Tiny Babe." I really like the imagry in the chorus.
Like a stone on the surface of a still river
Driving the ripples on forever
Redemption rips through the surface of time
In the cry of a tiny babe
Merry Christmas Week! :)
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
What do I really want?
Hi everyone,
I subscribe to a "Crucial Conversation" newsletter and I thought I would share the advice for this week. The author talks about how generally peaceful people can become easily angered and violent due to the pressures of our economy. And he gives some advice for dealing with these people.
"So what do you do when someone screams in your face and tries to bait you into a fight—for no apparent reason?
I learned an incredible and helpful response from an alert reader in Brazil who had been car jacked in Rio de Janeiro. She had read in our book, Crucial Conversations, that one of the ways to take the violence out of a situation is to quickly establish mutual purpose, which she did. She looked at the would-be carjacker and stated, “You tell me what you want and I’ll be glad to help.” The surprised thief asked her to take him to the nearest ATM and withdraw the maximum amount of cash she could, which she did. “Now what can I do?” she asked. “You can drive me across town,” he answered. When the two arrived at the appointed destination, the thief didn’t take her car, just the cash. Most importantly, he didn’t hurt her. He actually thanked her for her cooperation and then fled. Now, the skills in the book were not intended to instruct on negotiating threats of actual physical violence—obviously the best solution there is to get out as quickly as possible. But in a situation where the reader was trapped, keeping her head helped her avoid some common and possibly fatal results.
Following this reader’s lead, when the crazed guy in front of the sandwich shop tried to pick a fight with me for almost dinging his car, I was prepared. I apologized profusely several times. I then established mutual purpose by asking him what I could do to undo the possible harm. Of course, there was no actual harm to his car, but I was willing to do whatever would appease him. Now remember, I was not trying to negotiate a fair settlement. I was not trying to save face in front of others. I was not trying to look macho or feel in charge. Instead, I was doing my best to avoid getting pummeled by a guy who looked both willing and able to pummel me. And, make no mistake; he had a plan for getting there. He wanted me to argue back. He wanted me to get in his face where he could then push me away from him and I’d invariably push him back—and then he would have me. Then he could smack me around because I had pushed him.
But I didn’t follow the screaming stranger’s nefarious plan. Instead I apologized, admitted to my thoughtlessness, and genially sought to make reparations. As a result, the fellow had no place to go with his anger. All that was left for him to do was to forgive me and send me on my way with a stern warning—which he did.
I know this message may seem a bit bah-humbuggy and far from the kind of gift you might expect this time of year. But then again, some gifts you receive are more practical than your standard dangly earrings or pungent aftershave. Sometimes you get a new security system or hefty new locks on the door. I’ve given you something you can lock away in your head. You may not need it right now, but one day when you’re climbing out of your car listening to Burl Ives wish you a Holly Jolly Christmas and you’re distracted just enough to let your car door swing a quarter of an inch too far—well, you’ll now know what to say and do. And that, I hope, will lead to a happy and safe holiday."
I subscribe to a "Crucial Conversation" newsletter and I thought I would share the advice for this week. The author talks about how generally peaceful people can become easily angered and violent due to the pressures of our economy. And he gives some advice for dealing with these people.
"So what do you do when someone screams in your face and tries to bait you into a fight—for no apparent reason?
I learned an incredible and helpful response from an alert reader in Brazil who had been car jacked in Rio de Janeiro. She had read in our book, Crucial Conversations, that one of the ways to take the violence out of a situation is to quickly establish mutual purpose, which she did. She looked at the would-be carjacker and stated, “You tell me what you want and I’ll be glad to help.” The surprised thief asked her to take him to the nearest ATM and withdraw the maximum amount of cash she could, which she did. “Now what can I do?” she asked. “You can drive me across town,” he answered. When the two arrived at the appointed destination, the thief didn’t take her car, just the cash. Most importantly, he didn’t hurt her. He actually thanked her for her cooperation and then fled. Now, the skills in the book were not intended to instruct on negotiating threats of actual physical violence—obviously the best solution there is to get out as quickly as possible. But in a situation where the reader was trapped, keeping her head helped her avoid some common and possibly fatal results.
Following this reader’s lead, when the crazed guy in front of the sandwich shop tried to pick a fight with me for almost dinging his car, I was prepared. I apologized profusely several times. I then established mutual purpose by asking him what I could do to undo the possible harm. Of course, there was no actual harm to his car, but I was willing to do whatever would appease him. Now remember, I was not trying to negotiate a fair settlement. I was not trying to save face in front of others. I was not trying to look macho or feel in charge. Instead, I was doing my best to avoid getting pummeled by a guy who looked both willing and able to pummel me. And, make no mistake; he had a plan for getting there. He wanted me to argue back. He wanted me to get in his face where he could then push me away from him and I’d invariably push him back—and then he would have me. Then he could smack me around because I had pushed him.
But I didn’t follow the screaming stranger’s nefarious plan. Instead I apologized, admitted to my thoughtlessness, and genially sought to make reparations. As a result, the fellow had no place to go with his anger. All that was left for him to do was to forgive me and send me on my way with a stern warning—which he did.
I know this message may seem a bit bah-humbuggy and far from the kind of gift you might expect this time of year. But then again, some gifts you receive are more practical than your standard dangly earrings or pungent aftershave. Sometimes you get a new security system or hefty new locks on the door. I’ve given you something you can lock away in your head. You may not need it right now, but one day when you’re climbing out of your car listening to Burl Ives wish you a Holly Jolly Christmas and you’re distracted just enough to let your car door swing a quarter of an inch too far—well, you’ll now know what to say and do. And that, I hope, will lead to a happy and safe holiday."
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Great Verse!
“Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know Him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring” (Hosea 6:3).
Thursday, October 30, 2008
OR we could jump in the pool!
I was on MySpace tonight and was notified that one of my friends had been tagged in a picture. I looked at the tagged pictures and came across the following. And had to share. I don't think any other words are necessary really.....
Friday, October 17, 2008
Bisous
My precious kitty died this morning. She was the best kitty I could hope for and I will miss her. This poem is dedicated to her.
Precious Bisous, my little one.
Always loving, kind and fun. 
I'm grateful for the time you gave
Unselfishly fighting, always brave.
I'll miss your greetings and soft gray furr
I'll miss the sound of your happy purr.
My little kitty, precious one.
Rest in Peace, Rest in Love. 
Precious Bisous, my little one.
Always loving, kind and fun.
I'm grateful for the time you gave
Unselfishly fighting, always brave.
I'll miss your greetings and soft gray furr
I'll miss the sound of your happy purr.
My little kitty, precious one.
Rest in Peace, Rest in Love.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Weighing Your Options
Happy Wednesday!
I subscribe to a number of newsletters, but one of my favorites is Crucial Conversations. They describe difficult situations often submitted by readers and offer practical and non-biased ways to handle these issues and move forward in a positive direction.
I thought that the below story was especially good advice for anyone who is any a tough spot at work right now. It gives some good options for change, if you feel change is needed.
Dear Crucial Skills,
Ten of us are struggling with how to deal with the bad behavior of our boss. Most of us are contemplating leaving this really good company because of it. Two others have quit already because of the bad and even abusive behavior and told the HR director and CEO. Nothing has changed.
Signed,
What Next?
Dear What Next,
As I write this, the stock markets across the planet are on a roller coaster ride that’s bringing little joy to anyone. With that kind of insecurity as a backdrop, your question becomes especially sensitive. Even in the best of times, many people are reluctant to address concerns with their boss because they think it might put their jobs or their future opportunities at risk.
I would love to comfort you with our research that suggests if you practice crucial confrontations skills well, the odds of you being hurt by your attempt are quite low. However, your situation is a bit different. Your colleagues have already escalated this to HR and the CEO. You didn't mention that you have spoken to your boss directly—but for the sake of my response I’ll assume you have already done this (if you haven't, you need to step up to this crucial confrontation first thing). And still, after all these attempts, you’ve seen no change. What next?
You’re obviously in a very tough situation and your options are limited. But you do have options. Let me list them. You are in the best position to decide based on your perception of risk and your personal values which of these is the wisest choice for you. So, I’ll simply lay them out and hope considering them will assist you in making your decision.
1) Commit and cope. You could choose to accept the security of your current situation and cope with the abusive relationship. If you do so, I urge you to have the maturity to acknowledge that you are making this choice and not to blame your boss for behaving in the future the way he has in the past. You know what you’re signing up for—take it or leave it.
2) Give it up and quit. Second, you could decide that even an uncertain job market is more desirable than the certainly of a rotten work environment. Of course, it would be best to look around and solidify options as much as you can before making the leap—but if you’ve tried your best and can’t influence change where you are, change your address.
3) Escalate further and hope for the best. If there are ten of you who are dissatisfied, you have significant power to further escalate the behavior problems—provided you stick together. Though this may seem like unusual advice, I would encourage you to confront your boss as a group. Do it in as safe and respectful a way as you can (re-read Crucial Confrontations before acting). Limit your complaints to the one or two most salient ones and then detail what behavior you would like to have instead. Express your openness to changing yourselves if there are things you and your colleagues are doing that provoke your boss's bad behavior. But let your boss know that “no change” is unacceptable.
Before holding this discussion, share your intention with HR and the CEO. Ask them for their support. Ask them if you can report the outcome following the meeting. If they refuse to support your effort, then you must go back to options 1 or 2 above. If HR and the CEO will not support you, then either you are deluding yourself about the problem, or you are in an organization that is determined to enable your boss's bad behavior. It’s time to make a choice.
4) Prop the door open then escalate. Finally, you can combine #3 with a careful retreat plan. Shop around. Solidify some exit options. Be sure the back door is propped open and then take action to influence change.
Unfortunately, there is no easy solution. However, failing to clarify what you really want and not maturely choosing your best course of action will only add the misery of powerlessness to the dissatisfaction of abuse. Powerlessness is frequently as much fiction as reality. You do have options—and I urge you to exercise them to your greatest benefit.
I wish you the best and would be pleased to hear what you decide and how things turn out.
Warmly,
Joseph
I subscribe to a number of newsletters, but one of my favorites is Crucial Conversations. They describe difficult situations often submitted by readers and offer practical and non-biased ways to handle these issues and move forward in a positive direction.
I thought that the below story was especially good advice for anyone who is any a tough spot at work right now. It gives some good options for change, if you feel change is needed.
Dear Crucial Skills,
Ten of us are struggling with how to deal with the bad behavior of our boss. Most of us are contemplating leaving this really good company because of it. Two others have quit already because of the bad and even abusive behavior and told the HR director and CEO. Nothing has changed.
Signed,
What Next?
Dear What Next,
As I write this, the stock markets across the planet are on a roller coaster ride that’s bringing little joy to anyone. With that kind of insecurity as a backdrop, your question becomes especially sensitive. Even in the best of times, many people are reluctant to address concerns with their boss because they think it might put their jobs or their future opportunities at risk.
I would love to comfort you with our research that suggests if you practice crucial confrontations skills well, the odds of you being hurt by your attempt are quite low. However, your situation is a bit different. Your colleagues have already escalated this to HR and the CEO. You didn't mention that you have spoken to your boss directly—but for the sake of my response I’ll assume you have already done this (if you haven't, you need to step up to this crucial confrontation first thing). And still, after all these attempts, you’ve seen no change. What next?
You’re obviously in a very tough situation and your options are limited. But you do have options. Let me list them. You are in the best position to decide based on your perception of risk and your personal values which of these is the wisest choice for you. So, I’ll simply lay them out and hope considering them will assist you in making your decision.
1) Commit and cope. You could choose to accept the security of your current situation and cope with the abusive relationship. If you do so, I urge you to have the maturity to acknowledge that you are making this choice and not to blame your boss for behaving in the future the way he has in the past. You know what you’re signing up for—take it or leave it.
2) Give it up and quit. Second, you could decide that even an uncertain job market is more desirable than the certainly of a rotten work environment. Of course, it would be best to look around and solidify options as much as you can before making the leap—but if you’ve tried your best and can’t influence change where you are, change your address.
3) Escalate further and hope for the best. If there are ten of you who are dissatisfied, you have significant power to further escalate the behavior problems—provided you stick together. Though this may seem like unusual advice, I would encourage you to confront your boss as a group. Do it in as safe and respectful a way as you can (re-read Crucial Confrontations before acting). Limit your complaints to the one or two most salient ones and then detail what behavior you would like to have instead. Express your openness to changing yourselves if there are things you and your colleagues are doing that provoke your boss's bad behavior. But let your boss know that “no change” is unacceptable.
Before holding this discussion, share your intention with HR and the CEO. Ask them for their support. Ask them if you can report the outcome following the meeting. If they refuse to support your effort, then you must go back to options 1 or 2 above. If HR and the CEO will not support you, then either you are deluding yourself about the problem, or you are in an organization that is determined to enable your boss's bad behavior. It’s time to make a choice.
4) Prop the door open then escalate. Finally, you can combine #3 with a careful retreat plan. Shop around. Solidify some exit options. Be sure the back door is propped open and then take action to influence change.
Unfortunately, there is no easy solution. However, failing to clarify what you really want and not maturely choosing your best course of action will only add the misery of powerlessness to the dissatisfaction of abuse. Powerlessness is frequently as much fiction as reality. You do have options—and I urge you to exercise them to your greatest benefit.
I wish you the best and would be pleased to hear what you decide and how things turn out.
Warmly,
Joseph
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Life
Yes, I realize that's a rather intense blog name. In order to use such an impactful word....I should really write something deep, insightful, brilliant.
I'm not sure that's going to happen....but tonight I feel that melancholy pull to reflect and write and somehow express this small sadness I don't know why I feel.
Recently I heard a talk about growing up in God without growing old and the speaker said "How many are the children of God. How few are the friends."
Sometimes I feel like I could be a friend of God. But other times I feel like a little kid. I feel overwhelmed, challenged, sad, tired.... And I feel like I talk to God like I would talk to my dad when I was little.
I guess this is one of the many reasons why its good that God can encompass all roles. Sometimes we all need some milk and cookies and a big hug.
I'm not sure that's going to happen....but tonight I feel that melancholy pull to reflect and write and somehow express this small sadness I don't know why I feel.
Recently I heard a talk about growing up in God without growing old and the speaker said "How many are the children of God. How few are the friends."
Sometimes I feel like I could be a friend of God. But other times I feel like a little kid. I feel overwhelmed, challenged, sad, tired.... And I feel like I talk to God like I would talk to my dad when I was little.
I guess this is one of the many reasons why its good that God can encompass all roles. Sometimes we all need some milk and cookies and a big hug.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Why I like Country Music
So this morning I was reminded of one of reasons that I like country music. It reminds me of the important things.
This morning I heard the song American Soldier and I thought about it. I don't understand the war, but I'm grateful that there are people who are willing to risk their lives to defend our Country.
Then I started thinking about the many songs that are played. Yes there are dumb ones and yes sometimes the tune is just too much for me, but there are so many good words. Reminders of important values. And even reminders of God.
Check out these lyrics:
"Well, I'm what I am and I'm what I'm not. And I'm sure happy with what I've got. I live to love and laugh alot. And that's all I need. -Kenny Chesney- That's all I need
Do want you want, do want you wish. It's your life but remember this. There's bound to be some consequences. Sneaking under other fences. Clay Walker- Then What
"It was no accident me finding you Someone had a hand in it Long before we ever knew Now I just cant believe your in my life. Heavens smilin down on meAs I look at you tonight." Tracy Byrd- Keeper of the Stars
"Half way through the service While the choir sang a hymn He looked up above the preacher And he sat and stared at him He said'forgive me Father' When he realized That he hadn't been unloved Or alone all his life His arms were stretched out As far as they'd go Nailed to the cross For the whole world to know"- Jimmy Wayne. I love you this much
This morning I heard the song American Soldier and I thought about it. I don't understand the war, but I'm grateful that there are people who are willing to risk their lives to defend our Country.
Then I started thinking about the many songs that are played. Yes there are dumb ones and yes sometimes the tune is just too much for me, but there are so many good words. Reminders of important values. And even reminders of God.
Check out these lyrics:
"Well, I'm what I am and I'm what I'm not. And I'm sure happy with what I've got. I live to love and laugh alot. And that's all I need. -Kenny Chesney- That's all I need
Do want you want, do want you wish. It's your life but remember this. There's bound to be some consequences. Sneaking under other fences. Clay Walker- Then What
"It was no accident me finding you Someone had a hand in it Long before we ever knew Now I just cant believe your in my life. Heavens smilin down on meAs I look at you tonight." Tracy Byrd- Keeper of the Stars
"Half way through the service While the choir sang a hymn He looked up above the preacher And he sat and stared at him He said'forgive me Father' When he realized That he hadn't been unloved Or alone all his life His arms were stretched out As far as they'd go Nailed to the cross For the whole world to know"- Jimmy Wayne. I love you this much
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Remember the Alamo
I'm in San Antonio right now for the APTA convention. It's a beautiful place, right on the riverwalk. I'm really enjoying the nice walks in the morning or evening.
I stopped by the Alamo today and walked around the grounds. I've been there before, but it was really neat to see again. I don't think I paid as much attention in hi9h school!
Besides the beautiful old trees and stone artitecture, what I noticed most about the Alamo was the people who fought there. They were from everywhere: Tennessee, Ohio, England, Germany, and even a "Freed blackman"
How did these 30some people from all around the world end up in this once place, all ready to fight and give there lives for a cause they believed in?
I hate fighting and war and wish for peaceful solutions whenever possible. But I have to admire the courage and determination that these men had. I hope to meet some of them in heaven one day.
I stopped by the Alamo today and walked around the grounds. I've been there before, but it was really neat to see again. I don't think I paid as much attention in hi9h school!
Besides the beautiful old trees and stone artitecture, what I noticed most about the Alamo was the people who fought there. They were from everywhere: Tennessee, Ohio, England, Germany, and even a "Freed blackman"
How did these 30some people from all around the world end up in this once place, all ready to fight and give there lives for a cause they believed in?
I hate fighting and war and wish for peaceful solutions whenever possible. But I have to admire the courage and determination that these men had. I hope to meet some of them in heaven one day.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
You know you are taking Economics when....
You are at Target shopping for a particular item and decide not to buy the brand you were orginally going to purchase, but instead buy the one that is on sale...and then actually think....wow... because I made the decision to purchase this product based on price...this means this product is an elastic product.
For those of you trying to remember the difference...elastic products are affected by a change in price (like a brand of soap) and inelastic products are not affected by a change in price (like gas)
At this point...no one is reading my blog as you are all very bored. :)
For those of you trying to remember the difference...elastic products are affected by a change in price (like a brand of soap) and inelastic products are not affected by a change in price (like gas)
At this point...no one is reading my blog as you are all very bored. :)
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Monstrous pedestals
I've been reading through Oscar Wilde's play "An ideal husband." It's quite a brillant piece, but I came across one section that really stood out to me. It comes from the part where Lady Chiltern has just realized that her husband sold a secret for money many years ago and she feels she can't forgive him.
Lady Chiltern- No don't speak! Say nothing! Your voice wakes terrible memories- memories of things that made me love you-memories of words that made me love you-memories that are now horrible to me. And how I worshipped you! You were to me something apart from common life, a thing pure, noble, honest, without stain. The world seemed to me finer because you were in it, and goodness more real because you lived. And now- oh when I think I made a man like you my ideal! The ideal of my life!
Lady Chiltern- No don't speak! Say nothing! Your voice wakes terrible memories- memories of things that made me love you-memories of words that made me love you-memories that are now horrible to me. And how I worshipped you! You were to me something apart from common life, a thing pure, noble, honest, without stain. The world seemed to me finer because you were in it, and goodness more real because you lived. And now- oh when I think I made a man like you my ideal! The ideal of my life!
Sir Robert Chiltern. There was your mistake. There was your error. The error all women commit. Why can’t you women love us, faults and all? Why do you place us on monstrous pedestals? We have all feet of clay, women as well as men; but when we men love woman, we love them knowing their weaknesses, their follies, their imperfections, love them all the more, it may be for that reason. It is not the perfect, but the imperfect, who have need of love. It is when we are wounded by our own hands, or by the hands of others that love should come to cure us-else what use is love at all?... Women think they are making ideals of men. What they are making of us are false idols merely. You made your false idol of me, and I had not the courage to come down, show you my wounds, tell you my weaknesses. I was afraid that I might lose your love, as I have lost it now.
I disagree with Sir Robert Chiltern that this fault lies only with women. I think it is something we all can easily do with one another. It’s easy to put people on pedestals- husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, pastors, teachers….etc. And while we all should certainly strive to be men and women of good character, there is only One who has obtained perfection. Only one pedestal. And it was placed on a hill many years ago. And since the One who has seen perfection finds grace to grant us mercy and forgiveness, I think we too can show grace to those in our lives who…may not be perfect, but are on a journey to follow God just as we are.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Status
Hey guys,
I've talked a lot about Status and how much I am blessed by the creativity, and focus on Christ at this service. Some of the Full Sail students put together a video about Status and the what it stands for. Here's the link if anyone is interested in checking it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5cMOGpQNsI
I've talked a lot about Status and how much I am blessed by the creativity, and focus on Christ at this service. Some of the Full Sail students put together a video about Status and the what it stands for. Here's the link if anyone is interested in checking it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5cMOGpQNsI
Friday, February 15, 2008
Lessons Learned
So I've had a fish at my office for about two years now. His name is Neige (French for snow). He's been rather popular around my work for awhile now. People will stop by and remind me to clean his fish bowl or tell me he "doesn't look so good!"
Anyways... Sadly, Neige passed away yesterday. We found him somehow buried under his rocks. Catherine, one of the girls on my team, decided that we should have a funeral for him and return him to the Earth so to speak. So 4 of us went out back in a little procession and said a few nice things about him before I dumped him, rocks and all, into the lake behind our office. So far so good.
Then Matt noticed that he had not followed his rocks to the bottom of the lake, but was instead floating on top. This was a little distressing. One doesn't usually see a little white beta fish floating in a lake. Even more distressing was what happened when the lake's natural fish spotted him. Yikes. At this point I very quicky walked away because really...no one wants to see that. And thus concluded our rather unique ceremony for Neige.....
Anyways... Sadly, Neige passed away yesterday. We found him somehow buried under his rocks. Catherine, one of the girls on my team, decided that we should have a funeral for him and return him to the Earth so to speak. So 4 of us went out back in a little procession and said a few nice things about him before I dumped him, rocks and all, into the lake behind our office. So far so good.
Then Matt noticed that he had not followed his rocks to the bottom of the lake, but was instead floating on top. This was a little distressing. One doesn't usually see a little white beta fish floating in a lake. Even more distressing was what happened when the lake's natural fish spotted him. Yikes. At this point I very quicky walked away because really...no one wants to see that. And thus concluded our rather unique ceremony for Neige.....
Sunday, February 10, 2008
That Hideous Strength
I just finished "That Hideous Strength" which is the last book in C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy. I think he is a brilliant author but this series is not my favorite of his writings. I have a hard time linking back some of the theology. However, there is a section in the book that I really like. It describes where one of the main characters finally surrenders to God. It's from Chapter 14 Section 6 if anyone is interested.
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